This is getting off topic but what the hell - it's Christmas. And in
any case, 25 December is Newton's birthday.

Said Sir Isaac: "I've got a great notion
That force is a changer of motion.
Let's put it this way:
F = Ma
The rest is just sweat and devotion."

And to keep on topic:

"A husband and his wife were sound asleep when suddenly the phone
rang. The husband picked up the phone and said:
"Hello? ........How the hell do I know? What do you think I am, a
weatherman?" He then slammed the phone down and settled into bed.

"Who was that?" asked his wife.

"I don't know. It was some guy who wanted to know if the coast was
clear."

Jack