Death of Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing of an old friend, by the
name of Common Sense.

Common Sense lived a long life, but died from heart
failure early in the new millennium. No one really
knows how old he was since his birth records were long
ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools,
hospitals, homes, factories and offices, helping folks
get jobs done without fanfare and foolishness. For
decades, petty rules, silly laws, and frivolous
lawsuits, held no power over Common Sense. He was
credited with cultivating such valued lessons as to
know when to come in out of the rain, the early bird
gets the worm, and life isn't always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial
policies (don't spend more than you earn), reliable
parenting strategies (the adults are in charge, not
the kids), and it's okay to come in second (or even
last, as long as your best efforts were given).

A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great
Depression, and the Technological Revolution, Common
Sense survived cultural and educational trends
including body piercing, whole language and "new
maths." But his health declined when he became infected
with the "If-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it" virus.


In recent decades his waning strength proved no match
for the ravages of overbearing regulations. He watched
in pain as self-seeking lawyers ruled good people.

His health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly
implemented zero tolerance policies, reports of
six-year-old boys charged with sexual harassment for
kissing a classmate, a teen suspended for taking a
swig of mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for
reprimanding an unruly student. It declined even
further when schools had to get parental consent to
administer aspirin to a student but cannot inform the
parent when the female student is pregnant or wants an
abortion.

Eventually, Common Sense lost his will to live as churches
became businesses, criminals received better treatment than
victims, and high court judges stuck their noses in
everything from Boy Scouts to professional sports.

Finally, a woman who was not smart enough to realize
that coffee is hot, and was awarded a huge payout for
her stupidity, caused Common Sense to finally throw in
the towel.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents
Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion, his daughter,
Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by
two stepbrothers: My Rights and Ima Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized
he was gone.