* Originally in: FUNNY Jokes
* Originally on: 11-21-12 09:09
* Originally by: Robert E Starr JR @861.fu
* Originally to: All @Echomail*4

Thanksgiving Forecast

THANKSGIVING OUTLOOK by Elliot Abrams, excerpted from the
book, "Weather Prognosticators and the Media: Fallacies,
Facts, and Fun in Forecasting," by Norm MacDonald

Turkeys will thaw in the morning, then warm in the oven to
an afternoon high near 190 F. The kitchen will turn hot and
humid, and if you bother the cook, be ready for a severe
squall or cold shoulder.

During the late afternoon and evening, the cold front of a
knife will slice through the turkey, causing an accumulation
of one to two inches on plates. Mashed potatoes will drift
across one side while cranberry sauce creates slippery spots
on the other. Please pass the gravy.

A weight watch and indigestion warning have been issued for
the entire area, with increased stuffiness around the
beltway. During the evening, the turkey will diminish and
taper off to leftovers, dropping to a low of 34 F in the
refrigerator.

Looking ahead to Friday and Saturday, high pressure to eat
sandwiches will be established. Flurries of leftovers can be
expected both days with a 50 percent chance of scattered
soup late in the day. We expect a warming trend where soup
develops. By early next week, eating pressure will be low as
the only wish left will be the bone.

Received from Thomas Ellsworth.

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